You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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