So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
my sisters under your porch take her home
this just has baby written all over it
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
me + whiskey = a bad person
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
