Texts From Last Night

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  (212): View more from New York

  you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me

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  (212): you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me http://tfl.nu/k59c
  Replies (3) Good night (826) Bad night (1534) Order T-Shirt
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  (805): View more from California

  i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?

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  (805): i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns? http://tfl.nu/p7xv
  Replies (5) Good night (543) Bad night (1972) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!

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  (402): The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE! http://tfl.nu/1ymk
  Replies (63) Good night (1034) Bad night (7754)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.

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  (440): I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise. http://tfl.nu/okxz
  Replies (13) Good night (5366) Bad night (1076) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up

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  (304): You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up http://tfl.nu/adeo
  Replies (34) Good night (7327) Bad night (926) Order T-Shirt
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.

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  (816): He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP. http://tfl.nu/4ge4
  Replies (22) Good night (6183) Bad night (1078) Order T-Shirt
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  (352): View more from Florida

  The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.

  (1-352): View more from Florida

  Oh God. You're going to jail

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  (352): The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals. (1-352): Oh God. You're going to jail http://tfl.nu/m7qu
  Replies (30) Good night (5889) Bad night (1399) Order T-Shirt
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  (347): View more from New York

  So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok

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  (347): So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok http://tfl.nu/ez1i
  Replies (6) Good night (1216) Bad night (2303) Order T-Shirt
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.

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  (319): Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year. http://tfl.nu/pkn3
  Replies (5) Good night (1743) Bad night (490)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.

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  (604): Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas. http://tfl.nu/feay
  Replies (11) Good night (2115) Bad night (509) Order T-Shirt
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  (714): View more from California

  I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.

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  (714): I am "lost the control of my head" high right now. http://tfl.nu/ruo5
  Replies (2) Good night (878) Bad night (350) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.

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  (519): he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint. http://tfl.nu/fup1
  Replies (4) Good night (1146) Bad night (410) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.

  (1-617): View more from Massachusetts

  you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight

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  (617): You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33. (1-617): you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight http://tfl.nu/rpjk
  Replies (5) Good night (1849) Bad night (291)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up

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  (919): at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up http://tfl.nu/r47i
  Replies (3) Good night (566) Bad night (286) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!

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  (404): It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs! http://tfl.nu/8k9t
  Replies (4) Good night (513) Bad night (176) Order T-Shirt

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