Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot