Texts From Last Night

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  (281): View more from Texas

  i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets

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  (281): i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets http://tfl.nu/eja8
  Replies (33) Good night (7661) Bad night (805)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am

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  (641): i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am http://tfl.nu/xq9v
  Replies (30) Good night (5159) Bad night (786)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.

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  (201): Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag. http://tfl.nu/pvf6
  Replies (22) Good night (5868) Bad night (679)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.

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  (678): he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy. http://tfl.nu/gv2k
  Replies (14) Good night (769) Bad night (5199)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"

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  (480): I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues" http://tfl.nu/4mvg
  Replies (26) Good night (4303) Bad night (2157)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?

  (1-847): View more from Illinois

  It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.

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  (847): Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport? (1-847): It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok. http://tfl.nu/wou3
  Replies (30) Good night (4901) Bad night (1238)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.

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  (604): Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him. http://tfl.nu/v9q2
  Replies (16) Good night (4287) Bad night (1141)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"

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  (615): She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits" http://tfl.nu/yc53
  Replies (9) Good night (2952) Bad night (1202)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well

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  (319): I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well http://tfl.nu/7sxw
  Replies (1) Good night (537) Bad night (1667)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.

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  (870): Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up. http://tfl.nu/82ti
  Replies (9) Good night (517) Bad night (1433)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  He stood me up.

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.

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  (724): He stood me up. (724): I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone. http://tfl.nu/xslj
  Replies (3) Good night (688) Bad night (387)
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  (845): View more from New York

  I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.

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  (845): I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again. http://tfl.nu/qswf
  Replies (3) Good night (338) Bad night (572)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  see that vagina ? that vagina means business

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  (931): see that vagina ? that vagina means business http://tfl.nu/d7zl
  Replies (4) Good night (681) Bad night (374)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.

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  (623): It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that. http://tfl.nu/i8dz
  Replies (5) Good night (870) Bad night (410)
• Favorite

  (458): View more from Oregon

  And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.

  (458): View more from Oregon

  Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.

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  (458): And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him. (458): Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man. http://tfl.nu/z269
  Replies (3) Good night (1085) Bad night (444)

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