Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I cut my penus on the lid.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
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