Texts From Last Night

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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?

  (1-502): View more from Kentucky

  Welcome to every minute of my life.

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  (502): I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad? (1-502): Welcome to every minute of my life. http://tfl.nu/dbgu
  Replies (25) Good night (2674) Bad night (781)
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  (650): View more from California

  just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.

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  (650): just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight. http://tfl.nu/nhc3
  Replies (47) Good night (1079) Bad night (4428)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Previous statement retracted.

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  (864): If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay. (828): Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner (864): Previous statement retracted. http://tfl.nu/e7pe
  Replies (46) Good night (13329) Bad night (1253)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg

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  (423): my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg http://tfl.nu/cjr9
  Replies (65) Good night (18540) Bad night (1245)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth

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  (804): you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth http://tfl.nu/ftsz
  Replies (7) Good night (1025) Bad night (3748)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.

  (1-209): View more from California

  Duh.

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  (209): We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up. (1-209): Duh. http://tfl.nu/z6sv
  Replies (5) Good night (2003) Bad night (499)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.

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  (541): I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed. http://tfl.nu/aml6
  Replies (14) Good night (608) Bad night (1360)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.

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  (773): Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame. http://tfl.nu/s2ml
  Replies (3) Good night (957) Bad night (452)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.

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  (719): I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer. http://tfl.nu/9z00
  Replies (4) Good night (1192) Bad night (396)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...

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  (843): When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"... http://tfl.nu/sfou
  Replies (6) Good night (1786) Bad night (504)
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.

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  (971): He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME. http://tfl.nu/az6l
  Replies (7) Good night (357) Bad night (735)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...

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  (603): So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment... http://tfl.nu/nl0n
  Replies (2) Good night (597) Bad night (374)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.

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  (203): They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man. http://tfl.nu/uirl
  Replies (2) Good night (704) Bad night (226)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...

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  (612): We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game... http://tfl.nu/bxkh
  Replies (2) Good night (450) Bad night (222)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.

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  (832): I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement. http://tfl.nu/0r09
  Replies (1) Good night (457) Bad night (188)

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