I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i will never coherently bang her
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Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
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It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird