I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?