and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Randomize
