i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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