Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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