do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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