it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
We smell like vodka and hangover
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