I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
