also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
