After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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