Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Drunk is not a location!
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
