i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
