My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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