Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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