escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I just blew my weed a kiss
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
