Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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