you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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