I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
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You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
The struggles of a small town man whore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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