When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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