i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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