Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize