Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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