garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
