Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
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Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
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Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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