Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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