I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
