no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
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Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
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I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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