me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
