I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
