pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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