WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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