The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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