Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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