what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Every concussion has its silver lining
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
