I showed him my bush... on skype.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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