Fuck appropriateness.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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