saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
