I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Let's get the cat blown out
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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