Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
