Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.

  (443): View more from Maryland

  It breaks. We fall.

  (443): View more from Maryland

  I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in. (443): It breaks. We fall. (443): I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys? http://tfl.nu/201c
  Replies (14) Good night (556) Bad night (3126)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller? http://tfl.nu/lnof
  Replies (34) Good night (1458) Bad night (4890)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride. http://tfl.nu/51rz
  Replies (22) Good night (5773) Bad night (564)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier. http://tfl.nu/3der
  Replies (30) Good night (4627) Bad night (1681)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex. http://tfl.nu/1j3r
  Replies (36) Good night (1050) Bad night (6000)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both. http://tfl.nu/vzdh
  Replies (4) Good night (1011) Bad night (2121)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again. http://tfl.nu/cfdh
  Replies (7) Good night (2183) Bad night (910)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it. http://tfl.nu/j2gr
  Replies (5) Good night (1557) Bad night (578)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy. http://tfl.nu/qoag
  Replies (5) Good night (1311) Bad night (723)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands http://tfl.nu/hu3j
  Replies (11) Good night (460) Bad night (1061)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life. http://tfl.nu/262m
  Replies (8) Good night (903) Bad night (460)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism http://tfl.nu/7mxl
  Replies (5) Good night (650) Bad night (314)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel

  (1-973): View more from New Jersey

  The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel (1-973): The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them http://tfl.nu/r07z
  Replies (1) Good night (631) Bad night (374)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off. http://tfl.nu/aji8
  Replies (1) Good night (577) Bad night (231)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life? http://tfl.nu/hpvf
  Replies (3) Good night (588) Bad night (271)

Randomize