Texts From Last Night

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  (352): View more from Florida

  I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.

  (904): View more from Florida

  You stay classy.

  (352): View more from Florida

  The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.

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  (352): I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF. (904): You stay classy. (352): The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on. http://tfl.nu/3w00
  Replies (18) Good night (897) Bad night (4793)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.

  (1-724): View more from Pennsylvania

  You need to find a taint.

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  (724): I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between. (1-724): You need to find a taint. http://tfl.nu/752x
  Replies (24) Good night (2760) Bad night (808)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.

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  (208): I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome. http://tfl.nu/laeb
  Replies (21) Good night (8110) Bad night (744)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.

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  (765): Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom. http://tfl.nu/gaio
  Replies (32) Good night (3383) Bad night (5943)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'

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  (757): Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome' http://tfl.nu/u586
  Replies (17) Good night (4689) Bad night (1071)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out

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  (502): we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out http://tfl.nu/ipng
  Replies (9) Good night (1067) Bad night (4260)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.

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  (519): You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone. http://tfl.nu/p7fo
  Replies (3) Good night (1445) Bad night (728)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with

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  (804): have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with http://tfl.nu/vxai
  Replies (6) Good night (1838) Bad night (729)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.

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  (303): Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night? (1-303): Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts. http://tfl.nu/jufi
  Replies (4) Good night (1061) Bad night (528)
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  (936): View more from Texas

  I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.

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  (936): I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining. http://tfl.nu/kdvr
  Replies (2) Good night (1491) Bad night (545)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.

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  (780): He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up. http://tfl.nu/lxz2
  Replies (3) Good night (1361) Bad night (506)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer

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  (405): And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer http://tfl.nu/voyh
  Replies (4) Good night (647) Bad night (570)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests

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  (310): Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests http://tfl.nu/hq9w
  Replies (0) Good night (740) Bad night (464)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.

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  (425): You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five. http://tfl.nu/8p92
  Replies (1) Good night (618) Bad night (222)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?

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  (703): If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction? http://tfl.nu/5zwf
  Replies (3) Good night (263) Bad night (154)

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