Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"

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(310): View more from California

Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.

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(913): View more from Kansas

I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.

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These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Read it at the TFLN blog
(541): View more from Oregon

Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?

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(904): View more from Florida

I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...

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(203): View more from Connecticut

We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.

(617): View more from Massachusetts

What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!

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(937): View more from Ohio

Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY

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