i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going