Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
