have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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