i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
