I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
