I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Randomize
