I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
