It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
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