if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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