Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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