What did we do last night that was yellow?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
