as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
