i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
