i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
